Before you make your final decision whether or not this mode of counseling is for you…Let me show you the conversational style
I use in a session. This is in the middle of an online session, the names have been changed - to protect the innocent.

LYN: Let’s explore the losses you have experienced before we start talking about your fears.

First of all, do you think you’ve given yourself the opportunity to grieve the losses you experience because of adoption:-?  My hunch is that you haven't, so I'll continue with questions:

Make a list of the losses/things you missed out on because you're an adoptive
parent instead of a biological parent.  Do this quickly [hands moving fast] because
I want you just to let it flow without holding back.

CLIENT:

• Having children that look like us.
• Not having gone through the pregnancy and experiencing that connection with the child.
• Not having to deal with the added stress of all the adoption issues.

The only reason why it bugs me that they don't look like me is the stress I feel this puts on them.  I guess I had thought about it being a stress for them, but was obviously ignorant about how much that affects them.   Again, that "love can conquer all" mentality.

LYN:  Yes, since you’re children look differently than you, it’s a constant reminder -to all…[shrugging shoulders] that they’re adopted.  Judy, I’d like for you to also acknowledge that this has been a stressor for you…if for no other reason than you have wanted to protect them from hurt…

Once you’ve decided Online Counseling with an Adoption specialist is for you, it’s time to register.  This is how to do it:

• Click *Register Here* and follow the steps outlined for you.      
• Include an explanation of your situation and why you’d like to work with me.                                                                                
• Click *Pay Online* and pay through Pay Pal.
• You’ll receive our first session within 3 working days.